Felise Kaufusi had an emotional response to his recall to the Queensland team, but admits it was his own fault that he missed out last year on playing State of Origin.
The 15-game Origin veteran played the first two matches of the 2022 series before missing game three to be with his father Taniela, who died later that year.
Kaufusi, who missed last year's series due to suspensions with the Dolphins, said his dad would be "so proud" he had fought his way back into the side.
The 32-year-old was named 18th man for the 38-10 win over NSW in game one this year, and was activated and played after fullback Reece Walsh was concussed and NSW centre Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii sent off.
Now he is in the 17 and grateful for the chance in game two at the MCG on Wednesday night.
"It is bloody awesome," Kaufusi said.
"To play Origin, and then not be selected last year for obvious reasons, and to come back in … the feeling I get is ‘I miss this’.
"To play for Queensland is the pinnacle of what you want to do growing up.
"I keep pinching myself that I am back in here and I am loving every moment of it."
Kaufusi said he had mixed emotions watching the Maroons win last year's series 2-1.
"I know it was my own fault in the end. I couldn’t really be angry," he said of missing out.
"To watch those boys and how they went about their business last year, I was just like any other Queenslander from the sidelines cheering them on.
"Hopefully we can win another series this year."
Kaufusi was absent for seven weeks due to suspension last season, missing out on Maroons selection.
An uncompromising defender, he has tempered his aggression this season and has been rewarded.
"I have had to (find that balance) after missing out on a lot of footy last year," he said.
"That was my downfall and I had to get it right, otherwise I’d be sitting on the sideline or I wouldn’t be here.
"You could say I have dialled it back a bit but (aggression) is part of my game and part of who I am."
Kaufusi, who won the 2017 and 2020 NRL titles with Melbourne, has spent many days gazing at the MCG: he made his Origin debut there as well in 2018, in a 22-12 loss to NSW.
"It feels like it has come back full circle. It is such an iconic venue," he said.
"You can’t beat Suncorp but (the MCG is) up there, or close to it.
"Just the atmosphere running out - it feels like a colosseum and you are a gladiator. It is huge."
Kaufusi looks back at sitting out the last game of 2022 to be with his father with emotion, but also satisfaction.
“It was tough but I had to. If anyone was in dire straits in your family you would do the same thing," he said.
"I was happy I made the decision.
“(Dad) would be so proud. When he was overseas in the hospital he had his Queensland jersey (on) in the last live stream he did for our family.
"I get a bit emotional talking about it.”
