Jarome Luai is the first to admit he still carries the scars from last year's nightmare on Caxton Street.
And he wouldn't want it any other way.
The NSW five-eighth hasn't forgotten the headbutts with Reece Walsh, or the marching orders off Suncorp Stadium from referee Ashley Klein.
Nor has he forgotten the Blues' series-surrendering 32-6 loss, or the social media abuse and death threats that followed last year's June 21 thumping.
"I've thought about it," Luai said.
"It's sort of a scar, rather than me thinking about the actual game.
"But I come to the conclusion that at the end of the day your scars can make you stronger as well."
Luai and the rest of the Blues contingent touched down at Brisbane airport on Sunday, desperate to take the State of Origin shield back to NSW.
Each trying to create history as only the third Blues team to win a decider at Suncorp Stadium.
Few have more to prove than Luai.
The Penrith star was widely thought to have been branded with the never-again stamp after Origin II in Brisbane last year, dropped for the dead rubber.
But under Michael Maguire, Luai was recalled and has starred this series.
The playmaker is arguably in career-best form at Penrith and his combination with Mitch Moses in Origin II last month was match-defining.
Still, last year's outing at Suncorp and the fallout that followed was as hard as it has ever got for Luai in his football career.
"I wouldn't call it low," the 27-year-old said.
"... comparing it to the wider scope (of what can happen in life), it's not a low by any means.
"That's something I had to put into perspective. Any loss or any hiccup out there on the field is a lesson for myself, that's how I took it."
Luai has made no secret of how much last year's Origin series has driven him this season.
In early May he told AAP he had unfinished business in the NSW jersey.
The No.6 has followed through on his pledge to draw on the experiences from last year, and knows Wednesday night is his perfect opportunity to make full amends.
"That's what I am most excited about, getting that opportunity back here and not missing that shot," Luai said.
"You can't take any great moment for granted. Gratitude is a great word to use heading into big games.
"Thankfully I have had the experience to do that a couple of times now. I've just learned from past experiences.
"Hopefully I am getting better as the challenge comes along."
As he prepares to again be one of the most hated men in Queensland, Luai has one simple message for Maroons fans.
"I welcome it, I love the noise," he said.
"It's not hard man, with the crowd. They don't come on the field.
"It's just noise at the end of the day. It is pretty loud, I must say. It's hard for you to communicate to your teammates. That's probably the only thing difficult about it.
"But I love the atmosphere. Once again I get to go up against it, feel all that energy and put it to good use."
