Nathan Lyon's wife called him an idiot, as did Pat Cummins, while Mitchell Starc preferred the term "peanut".
All while Lyon thought his decorated Australian Test career may have been ended by blowing his calf "to bits" during last year's Ashes series.
"You're thinking the worst," Lyon said in the Prime Video documentary The Test - Season Three.
"You're thinking, 'S***, is your career done?'
"But more important, thinking I have let my teammates down."
The documentary, which premieres on Friday, contains raw footage of an inconsolable Lyon crying in the Australian dressing room after tearing his right calf during the second Test against England last year.
"I want to be the best in the world and I want to make a difference in the Australian cricket team - and I feel like I could have made a difference in that side, so that is where the emotion comes from," he said.
That Lord's Test was Lyon's 100th - all played consecutively - and he was injured on day three while fielding.
Teammate Usman Khawaja ran over and asked if the spinner had cramp.
"I said, 'Nup ... I have blown the calf to bits'. I knew straight away," Lyon said.
Lyon woke on day four of the Test, when Australia's batsmen would build a lead, and told his wife Emma he planned to bat.
"She goes, 'You're an idiot ... you can't even get in the shower'," he said.
Arriving at the ground, Lyon sought out team physiotherapist Nick Jones, who was treating Cummins at the time.
"I am hobbling around on crutches here and Pat has just looked at me and goes, 'Gaz, you're not batting'. He goes, 'You're an idiot'," he said.
But when Australia's ninth wicket fell, Lyon literally hopped on his good leg down the Lord's steps and joined an incredulous Mitchell Starc at the crease.
"What is going on here? This peanut is walking out to bat - not walking, he's hobbling out using his bat as a crutch," Starc said.
The pair put on 15 runs with Lyon hooking one four before being dismissed and receiving a standing ovation from the Lord's crowd.
"It was pretty incredible to see the reaction from the English crowd," Lyon said.
"They're the type of things when you look back at your career, whenever that may be, and (say) 'S***, that was pretty special'."
The injury prevented Lyon playing any cricket for about four months.
